Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The New Normal

Hi there!  I've decided that instead of continuing on with Ebersole. Party of Six, I would move on and start a new blog.

My life is changing......has changed. A lot. Tim and I are divorcing. Tim, Tyler, and Trevor moved out and the boys no longer speak to me. I am very sad about that and I don't think I'll ever truly get over it. I can no longer hear their voices in my head and that makes me cry every time I think about it. I know that this is their decision and I've always respected my kids decissions and I will respect this one as well. I've accepted. It's not always easy though. I hope that they are happy in their new life and that they find joy. I wish I could remind them that no matter what, I am their mother and will be here for them no matter what, when, or where.

Travis and Tuesday elected to stay with me. I can't begin to express how grateful I am for that. there is no real custody order and there won't be as long as I can help it. I want all the kids to be able to decide how they would like to continue their relationships with Tim and I. I encourage Travis and Tuesday to see and talk to their dad as much as they'd like and I don't pry into their business in that regard. I will ask, "Have you talked to your dad lately?" and give the a "great" or "you should" whenever I need to. I hope that I am doing a good job with that. I am just so lost but this is the way Travis and Tuesday want it and I will support them in it.

Sadly, the relationship between Tim and I did not go well after I asked for a divorce and there is an order in place that prevents us from communicating. It was for the best at the time and I think it will continue to serve its purpose for a while but, I hope that one day we can communicate like two people that have four children in common and want to work towards their greater good. Thant would be ideal and that is my hope.

That's all I can muster for now.